Okay, so technically this piece wasn't rejected. Why? Because the press I sent it to is apparently closing their doors. No, it's not my fault. I blame Bush, as should you all. In fact, any time you get rejected and don't like it, blame Bush. Trust me, it will make you feel better inside.
In any case, this piece is off to some other lovely place, which will hopefully remain open long enough for my story to actually be read!