Flavorwire "SF/F Films Everyone Should See" Meme: How many have you seen?

The fine folks at Flavorwire recently released a list of 50 SF/F films they think everyone should watch (technically, there are 63 titles on the list, since they counted series as one).  I figured it would be fun to turn it into a meme.  So here you go:

Photo: The Book Mountains Old

I am told that there are legends from long ago about the mystical Book Mountains.  They arose when the gods had let their book collecting habits get the better of them, thus resulting in massive mountains of cosmic knowledge in need of organization in the Great Library of the Sky.  It seems the mountains are returning...

And in honor of the return of the Book Mountains, I'd like to share one of the great songs of old:

10 Books I'm Looking Forward to in 2013

Now that I've covered movies and television, I think it's time I hit the big stuff -- books.

Here's the ten books I'm looking forward to this year (feel free to leave your suggestions in the comments):

10 Movies I'm Looking Forward to in 2013

The other day, I released my "top 10" list for television shows premiering or continuing in 2013.  Now it's time for movies.  Why?  Because movies are where it's going to be hot this year.

Here goes:

10 TV Shows I'm Looking Forward to in 2013

There are so many things to watch this year, but I don't have a billion hours to stream every single TV show being made right now.  I've got to be picky.  Very picky.

The following are my top picks for the year.  Do with it what you will...

Here goes:

Dear Christmas: My Favorite SF/F Re-Reads

There's still time to get to the shops and buy that special gift for your estranged husband or twice-removed cousin.  Okay, let's face it.  You're not buying gifts for them.  If you've popped onto this page, it's for one of three reasons:

1. You read this blog.
2. You told me to write on this topic.
3. You've got a weird scifi and fantasy geek child or friend and you have no idea what to get them.

If you're in the #3 category, then prepare yourself for this completely uneven list of books I enjoyed enough to read more than once!  Here goes:

Larry's Silly Survey of Silly

Over at OF Blog of the Fallen, Larry has put up a bunch of seemingly random and bizarre questions for folks to answer.  The following are my equally silly responses:


1.  Do you believe that global warming could be ameliorated if there were more pirates in the world?
Unfortunately, no.  Because pirates have a tendency to burn things -- such as boats and makeshift cigarettes and small coastal towns ripe for the picking -- they contribute at least 50 times the amount of atmospheric pollutants as all volcanoes combined.  In truth, to stop global warming, we would have to systematically hunt down and imprison all pirates.  I'm told the Federated League of Ninjas is waiting for the call...

2.  What is the last book you read and would you recommend it to a hobo who likes to speak in alliterations?
Libidinal Economy by Jean-Francois Lyotard.  And, no, I would not recommend it to an

Top 5 SF/F Shows I Wish Weren't Cancelled

Too many TV shows have come and gone.  Some of them never should have been killed.  These are the five I wish hadn't been cancelled.

In no particular order:

Top 7 Science Fiction and Fantasy Musicals

I love musicals.  And I'm sure some of you love them too.  If you need a pick-me-up, sometimes a musical is just the right thing.

These are what I consider to be the best SF/F musicals, selected by a jury of 5,000 Americans kept in an underground bunker for six weeks (part of the previous sentence is untrue -- also, the following are not in any particular order):

Top 5 Science Fiction Mothers (in Film)

In celebration of Mother's Day, I offer to you all my favorite science fiction mothers. There are a few lists of mothers in science fiction, but this will be one of the only lists that narrows things down specifically to heroines who are also mothers (of which there are very few) and who can be found in fim.

I gave myself a few rules for the selection process:

1. Heroine will be defined as a woman who achieves (or attempts to achieve) physical or intellectual goals either as an equal member in a group, a leader, or on her own.
2. A mother will be defined as a woman who either gives birth to and participates in the raising of children OR a woman who adopts (de facto or literally) a child and participates in their raising.
3. They must actually be heroines while being mothers.  It doesn't count if she was a heroine in her younger days, and then stopped being one when she got pregnant and had kids.  It also doesn't count if she wallows in despair because she lost manly man, gives birth, and then decides to die (I'm looking at you, Padme Amidala).

Here's my list:

What I Did With Myself When I Saw the Avengers

Someone gave me a 24-hour challenge to create a costume for the 7:50 PM screening of Avengers tonight.  I did not disappoint.

To all those who stared at me like I was a freak:  look at my fist.  That is the size of the stick you've got jammed up your ass.  Retract it before you cause permanent damage.

That is all.

P.S.:  Expect a video in the next few days.  No, I will not tell you anything about it.

Hello Readers (from places other than the U.S. and U.K.)

Once in a while, I check my audience statistics to see where people who read this blog are from.  The usual four are always high on the list (U.S., U.K., Canada, and Germany), but sometimes there are a few new additions that make me giddy.  Don't get me wrong:  I love all you Americans, Brits, Canadians and Germans!  You're truly wonderful and I thank you for reading.  But sometimes it's wonderful to see people from elsewhere reading this weird project of mine.

With that in mind, I would like to say a hearty American hello to all the readers from the following countries:

• The Netherlands
• Brazil
• Russia
• Australia
• India
• France
• The Philippines
• Hong Kong
• Thailand

Hello!  Feel free to come out of the shadows and introduce yourselves!

The Magical Cylinder (of Doom) -- Plus a Free Book!

The first one to guess correctly what is inside this cylinder will win a book from me.  Something with science fiction and fantasy in it.  No joke.  Take a wild guess...

Ari Marmell and Me: Look, My Name is in The Goblin Corps!

What? You don't believe me? Well see for yourself:

Morthûl, the dreaded Charnel King, has failed.

Centuries of plotting from the heart of the Iron Keep, deep within the dark lands of Kirol Syrreth-all for naught. Foiled at the last by the bumbling efforts of a laughable band of so-called heroes, brainless and over-muscled cretins without sense enough to recognize a hopeless cause when they take it on. Machinations developed over generations, schemes intended to deliver the world into the Dark Lord's hands, now devastated beyond salvation. But the so-called forces of Light have paid for their meddling with the life of Princess Amalia, only child of the royal family of Shauntille.

Now, as winter solidifies its icy grip on the passes of the Brimstone Mountains, disturbing news has reached the court of Morthûl. King Dororam, enraged by the murder of his only child -- and accompanied by that same group of delusional upstart "heroes" -- is assembling all the Allied Kingdoms, fielding an army unlike any seen before. The armies of Kirol Syrreth muster to meet the attack that is sure to come as soon as the snows have melted from the mountain paths, but their numbers are sorely depleted. Still, after uncounted centuries of survival, the Dark Lord isn't about to go down without a fight, particularly in battle against a mortal! No, the Charnel King still has a few tricks up his putrid and tattered sleeves, and the only thing that can defeat him now may just be the inhuman soldiers on whom he's pinned his last hopes.

Welcome to the Goblin Corps. May the best man lose

This is just like when Simon Pegg wrote that movie based on my life as relayed through a zombie metaphor.  Or very similar to how this guy stole my name to make an acting career for himself on 90210.  (No, Mr. Moosekian, you cannot have my Twitter name.)

Then again, maybe this is all coincidence and I'm simply an egotistical idiot with a blog babbling about how great I am via other people's clearly far superior work...

The cool news is that you can learn all about Ari Marmell at his website, which is cleverly entitled Mouseferatu.  But perhaps it is just another coincidence that I happened to show a few minutes of Nosferatu (and D. W. Griffith's Intolerance, incidentally) in my Survey of American Literature course today...  Yeah, coincidence.  That's it.

In any case, you can get The Goblin Corps right now!  It's available.  Everywhere.

P.S.:  Pyr is awesome.

Impslapped: Coming to HBO Soon!

I lied.  This probably isn't coming to HBO.  But we can dream, right?  Peter Dinklage is bloody brilliant in Game of Thrones, so brilliant, in fact, that you could probably do a spin-off show for his character and still produce amazing content.  Can you imagine the witty banter?  I can.  I can indeed...

But perhaps what we really need to do is turn this into some kind of SF/F community version of "you got served."  Only it would be cool, because SF/F is much more fascinating than bad actors who happen to be good dancers.  And we could use it in amusing situations.  Let's think of some shall we?

For example, if someone tells you that fantasy is a silly genre that you shouldn't waste your time writing, you could immediately point out that J. K. Rowling has sold over 400 million copies of her books worldwide.  Impslapped!

Or you might get in an argument about whether the Enterprise D is more powerful than anything in the Star Wars universe.  You might show them this:

IMPSLAPPED!
Those are just the ones I can think of on short notice.

When would you use this new buzzword?  Let me know in the comments, because I feel like having some fun!

(Thanks to The Wertzone for the discovery.)

Top Five Female Authors of Science Fiction and Fantasy

A while back, Larry over at OF Blog of the Fallen posted this list of fives. I've decided to turn each into its own post on my blog, with one modification:  all of them will be specific to science fiction and fantasy.  Hopefully nobody will have a problem with this change.

First up, as the title suggests:

Top Five Female Authors of Science Fiction and Fantasy

Kage Baker

I was saddened when Baker passed away last year.  She was not only a gracious author who indulged this silly fan by answering questions for an interview, but she was also a writer of amazing works of fiction across multiple genres.  The House of the Stag is still one of my favorite novels of all time and is sure to stay in my top ten for the foreseeable future.  I loved the book so much that I am hesitant to read The Anvil of the World because I know it will be the last time I get to read something fresh and new from the world that sucked me in and never let go.  One day I'll read it,

The SF Mistressworks Meme

I got this from Ian Sales, who has also done a 21st Century Mistressworks Meme (I'll have to do that one later). The following list is taken from here.

You know how it works: bold those you’ve read, italicise those you own but have not read.

Feel free to post your own marked up list on your blog or Facebook page. Leave a link in the comments!

Here's mine (after the fold):

Top 7 Repeated Science Fiction Phrases or Words That Have Become Annoying

Remember when it used to be relevant to say "repeated like a broken record" or something like that?  Yeah, neither do I.  But people sure sound like one these days, what with Twitter making it easier and easier to repost every "nifty" thing you've ever seen alongside blogs and picture sites used for the same purpose.  Some of those "nifty" things have become plain annoying, shoved into the rest of us like smelly hand-me-down socks made by a dead aunt or Santa.

Maybe I'm being a little harsh, but I've seen the following seven phrases/words peddled around more times than I care to count, and I'm just about sick of them:

7.  "May the fourth be with you."

It's only funny if a child says it.  But children aren't the ones saying it on Twitter.  And it's not cute.  It's not even clever.  It's the kind of thing you laugh at when your kid says it, just like the time they told you that silly knock-knock joke about oranges and apples that you've heard a thousand times before.

I get it, though.  The fourth of May is Star Wars Day, but let's at least pretend that real clever people run the SF/F world.  Hell, you could even say your child said it so you can get away with posting it twelve times on your Twitter account...

6.  "All this has happened before. All this will happen again."

It's an old saying picked up by Ron Moore for his re-imagining of Battlestar Galactica.  And for a while, it was a creepy way of saying fate was about to screw everyone over in the show.  But then people started using it to refer to their day-to-day lives, and mundane things like getting cheap American coffee from a parasitic coffee company...until, finally, people just started saying it for no reason at all, sucking all the life out of a phrase and killing its immense mythology.  Good job, newbs.

5.  "Reality is for those who can't handle Science-Fiction."

No, it's not.  Reality is for people who write or read science fiction, because without a sense of reality or an understanding of how the now functions, one can't actually write science fiction.  Sure, you can come up with some kind of bastardized SF/F hybrid, but you'll never approach the greatness of true geniuses in the field (if we're going with the pretentious version of things).  Still, it's a nice try at saying something approaching smart.

4.  "Politicians should read science fiction, not westerns and detective stories."

You know what politicians should read?  The frakking U.S. Constitution (or other relevant document if they're not American politicians).  You know what else they should read?  Facts.  I don't think science fiction is high on the list of things politicians should be familiar with.  Don't get me wrong; I love SF and think everyone should read it, but our politicians don't suck because they don't read my favorite genre.  They suck because they're idiots.

3.  "When I die, I'm leaving my body to science fiction."

I thought this was a cute phrase for the first few days.  But then everyone and their ancient relatives (the crusty ones with bad manners) started posting it on their Twitter accounts, usually with an exclamation point to drive home their pathetic attempt at a geeky badge of honor.  Listen up, folks.  You don't get your geek badge by being annoying.  That's not how it works.  First, you have to sell your soul to a Batherian bloodmonk.  Second, you have to kill your first dragon while in a spaceship made of solid diamonds.  And third, you have to name the primary cast members of at least three different SF/F movie or TV properties.  I don't make the rules.  That's just the way it is...

2.  "Science fiction is dead/dying."

You know why science fiction is "dying?"  Because every other week some asshole says it's dying and people start to think it is.  It's called propaganda, and if I didn't know better, I'd think people who say SF is dying are part of a group of literary elites trying to kill SF from the inside.  I wouldn't put it past them.  They're a vicious bunch...

1.  Anything with "punk" attached to it.

The "punk" in Cyberpunk used to mean something.  It really did.  Now people shove it onto every term they want in order to sound hip.  The problem?  You end up pissing on all those who legitimately engaged with the "punk" dynamic.  I don't care much for pissing on literary geniuses like William Gibson or Bruce Sterling or Jeff Noon or Richard Calder, or even folks who pioneered the Steampunk genre way back before it was Steampunk.  But the whole "punk" thing has gotten out of hand.  How about we attach "ism" to subgenres instead?  Steamism, Dieselism, Undergarmentism... See?  That sounds better...

That's my list.  What annoying science fiction phrases or words have annoyed you recently or in the past?

Adam's First Pro-Sale -- "Resolution" -- Congrats, Buddy!

In the interest in plugging things for friends, I would like to point you all to my friend Adam's first ever pro publication over at AE!  The story is called "Resolution," the publication of which Adam has to thank me, since I critiqued the hell out of it.  Or maybe I'm exaggerating my involvement...

In any case, check out the story and let Adam know what you think on his blog!

Congrats, man!

An Amazing(ly Poignant) Gift

One of my friends from England recently tried to send me a present thinking it was my birthday (this was a month or so back).  It obviously hasn't been my birthday since October, but I'll never say no to presents.  There were some concerns over the chocolate in the package, as they are banned by some arcane U.S. law because the little toys inside cause babies to choke when their lazy ass parents don't monitor what their kids are munching on....

Anyway.  We had about given up on the gift ever arriving, but then I checked my mail today and discovered this (after the fold):