OK, so I have a good answer for that last question. We talked about this a little in a recent Shoot the WISB episode. Basically, the reversal of the Khan narrative probably came off as a slap in the face to Trekkies. I even think it smelled disgusting, even though I kind of like the idea of switching things around. After all, Spock isn't supposed to be an emotional man, so the idea that he'd break down after the supposed death of Kirk adds some weight to the moment. But...it wasn't handled well. There wasn't enough character development; the death of Kirk was handled in the way you'd expect a comic book to handle it: he's dead...wait, no, not really, here's some magic *poof.* At least in Wrath of Khan, Spock died. He was dead dead dead. The film never says "hey, we'll magic him into existence...right at the end." If you've never seen Search for Spock, you really do think the guy has friggin died. And that's a big deal. The audience sometimes needs that slap in the face.
But I digress. Prepare to be pissed off. The following is my ranked list of Star Trek movies, minus Galaxy Quest:
here and here)
And here's my ranked list of Star Trek TV shows:
And that's my list. You're free to threaten death in the comments.